Gender Neutral

Kevin and I have decided to wait until delivery to find out Baby’s gender. I don’t have a problem when others find out early with an ultra-sound; it was simply a decision for us. I threw out the idea and Kevin jumped on board.

There were many factors to our decision. It started when we didn’t get pregnant in our timing; God had other plans. We made the decision that if pregnancy wasn’t going to be a big surprise due to working with doctors and such, we wanted something to be a surprise, and Baby’s gender sounded like a good idea. We knew that God was in control and we would take whatever came our way (not that you actually get to choose a boy or girl.) When we (surprise) got pregnant on our own, we stuck with the idea of waiting to find out.

Another giant factor was my frugality. We really don’t plan for this to be our only child. We don’t know what that looks like for the future, but we thought we would set the foundation for other little ones that will come our way. So we got everything gender neutral; crib bedding, strollers, car seats, blankets, gowns, and everything in between. I know some things will need to be replaced, but I couldn’t see purchasing new items for a second child simply because the gender was different than number one. Nor could I see myself asking family or friends to buy new ones when the original was in such good condition. (Thanks friends for your generous gifts. As a side note, we have been very blessed to receive used items from family and friends and are just as excited, if not more so, with used items as new items.) The economy isn’t changing very fast, and we don’t know what the future holds for our income for next year, or subsequent years, so we thought it the responsible thing to do. We probably would have gone neutral even if we had found out the sex, but it was easier to not be swayed toward pink or blue this way. When things are questionable (usually because it would be too feminine) I ask Kevin, “Would you let your son wear/use this?”

However, I have found myself very sensitive to certain responses when people find out we are waiting. My mom teases me and calls me mean because I am preventing her from buying little outfits just yet. That one doesn’t bother me. In fact, I think my father is grateful that I have found a way to curb my mother’s spending, even if temporarily.

But if I hear another person say "I just couldn't do it, I'm too much of a planner," I might scream. (Get ready for the rant.) It’s not so much the “I couldn’t do it,” we all know you could if you wanted to. It’s more of the indication that I am not a planner. You think I'm not planning? Have you met me? You think I am not crazy about preparing for a neutral nursery and snatch up all the neutral clothes I can find? You think I haven't lined up people to let me borrow clothes depending on the gender? Just because my entire nursery isn’t pink doesn’t mean I’m not a planner. I’ve planned to share baby stuff with anyone who wants to. I’m all about thrift stores, garage sales, and friends that are done having kids. There is nothing wrong with finding out the gender, just don't think I'm not a planner! I know it isn’t what people really mean, and pregnant women are overly sensitive, but I don’t think people sometimes think about what they are going to say. I received a wonderful response from a friend today. She said “I think it would be so hard to wait, but it sure makes labor day exciting.” How sweet, thank you friend.

I know all (at least most) women are excited for delivery, but I feel that we have been able to add something special to ours. I look forward to the day when Kevin gets to exclaim “It’s a . . .”