200

For my 200th blog post I wanted to write something wonderful and amazing; but nothing came to mind. Life becomes more of the same and I enjoy the day in and day out. But as I looked at my calendar, I remembered that it was one year ago that we found out a baby was coming our way. You can read about it here. It was a great Christmas gift! When I began to look back at the posts from 2010, I realized I didn't post a lot of pictures of my growing belly (and face, and arms, and rear end . . .) Most of them were simply uploaded to Facebook. Below are most of the pictures we took of my changing shape.

By 10 weeks I could hardly wear my regular pants.

13 Weeks

19 Weeks in D.C.

17 Weeks and completely in maternity clothes

19 Weeks in Seattle for Easter

24 Weeks in Bakersfield for Mother's Day

28 Weeks

30 Weeks in Alaska

33 Weeks in Hubby's clothes

37 Weeks and barely fitting in maternity clothes

39 Weeks in the shirt that made me look like I was holding The Great Pumpkin

But no matter the weight gained (and lost - yippee!) it was all worth it for our little Bug.

Nine Month Pedicures

As she did with Rachel in May, Mom took Rachel and I out for pedicures. Granted, I get more excited about the massage chair than I do the pedicure. But the time was nice and relaxing.

As a side note, I call this the Great Pumpkin Shirt. It's big in the shoulders, but it is one of the few that fits around the belly and is long enough.

Rachel said she enjoyed doing this not being pregnant.

The Sugar Mama.
Mom is extremely ticklish.

Thanks, Mom. I enjoyed the pedicure and the company.

Baby's Nursery

It has taken me 3 days to download the pictures for this blog due to intermittent internet but I wanted to show you Baby's nursery.

My Uncle Mike and Cousin Mike (Mikey to family) came down to Riverside with my Aunt, Cousin, and Grandmother for my shower. We bribed them with golf if they painted Baby's room while we were at the shower. I had originally picked out vinyl stickers on Etsy but the would end up spending close to $300. So my family offered to do it for free. I picked out a couple of pictures on the web and the boys projected them on the wall as stencils. I love the way they turned out.

I really wanted this shelf but there was very little wall space left in the little room. You can see the quilt on the edge of the crib. It was the inspiration for the room. I picked it out a while ago and then we found it on clearance in May (thanks Mom).

Here is the mobile I decided to use. It was the one my mom attached to my crib as a baby. I wrapped it in ribbon and hung it from the ceiling.

The book shelf filled with both new and used books. Many were given to us at the shower, some are mine, and some are from Grandma and Papa Rookus. The baskets on the window seat hold toys, both new and used.

On top of the shelf is my teddy bear with the button from the hospital where Kevin was born. The silver cup is mine with my birth stats on it; August 14, 1981, 8 pounds, 1 ounce, 21 inches, 10:35 am. The shoe on the left was from Great-Papa Rookus from the 1920's and the shoe on the right is from Great Aunt Kathy from the 1940's.

This is a four generation picture of my G.G., Mimi, Mama, and me when I was about a year old.

Our little dresser from Ikea that Kevin put together. I like the little baskets we found at Babies R Us; they match the shelf. I've had that lamp forever but bought a new shade so I decided to spray paint the lamp. It's a little brighter than anticipated but the room could use some color.

Lots and lots of onesies. All hand-me-downs.

More clothes.

This is an old night stand that was given to me years ago as a hand-me-down. It was a blond wood. So I sanded it and spray painted it white. The box on top was a gift from a friend from Africa. It's hard to tell, but there are giraffes carved on it.

A little touch of giraffe print.

We still have a large blank wall that we don't really know what to do with. We probably will end up doing something with Baby's name; as soon as we pick one . . .

And we wait . . .

Today I am 38 weeks and 4 days and nothing. Nothing is happening. No regular contractions. No news to report. Which I am surprisingly okay with. I have ten days to my due date and I am not in a rush. I'm definitely slower than last week. Last week I did a lot more projects and activities. This week (really since Saturday) I feel slower. I still have a lot of projects I want to get done, and yet I feel less motivated to do them.

Today was a real bum day; I think the only productive thing I did was wash dishes. Oh, and went to the doctor. It was fine except that we did nothing but listen to the heart beat and take all my measurements but it took over an hour. It has to do with having a resident as my primary, and it never bothered me until today. I was really antsy. And because he didn't check anything else, I really have no idea if I am getting closer or not. But since contractions are still high and not painful, we are going to assume my body is still practicing.

I am starting to get annoyed with my weight gain. By the time we are done I will hit 40 pounds. It was a lot more than I wanted but it doesn't seem to matter what I eat or don't eat. There are things I will do different next time. But hindsight is always 20/20. I'm interested to see how quickly this comes off. And I am determined that this all has to come off. Mostly because I will not have the money to buy new regular clothes, or bigger maternity clothes for next time. It's all things I don't need to worry about, but it does occasionally cross my mind; mostly when I had to the doctor to weigh in.

But the boys and I hang out at home and avoid the heat. When I sit someone will bring me ball or a rope wanting to play. They are good boys and are almost to the point where they don't feel the need to follow me around the house. And I know that dogs sleep a lot, but I am impressed with how they can be so lazy. On Saturday we took them to the park and they wore out pretty quick. I really need to take them more often, especially since Charlie is getting a little thick, but I can't really take them alone while pregnant, they are just too big to hold on to both. They are good boys though. They do really well with our nieces and nephews; we are still working on Bubba not to clean them with his crazy tongue. I am interested to see how they do with our little one; they get really anxious when they hear babies cry. I expect after a few days, they'll get used to it.

Long Boring Update

This is the boring post that you skip over the first couple of times on your list of updates simply because of the lack of pictures. Don't worry, I do it to your blog all the time. Eventually I go back and read it; but only after I look at all of the updated blogs that have pictures.

I am in the home stretch; 38 weeks tomorrow. Monday was my first day off of work, and I am enjoying myself. I've baked, cleaned, shopped, and everything else domestic. I still have quite a long list of chores and projects to complete, most of which I am sure won't happen before Baby gets here. I've become more swollen this week which means about every hour and a half I take a 30 minute break or so. I've become very thirsty all the time which means I now have to use the rest room every 45 minutes.

I have filled my deep freeze with fruit, vegetables, meats, and breads. I've made and frozen cookies. Sliced and frozen fruit (this one takes longer since I freeze the pieces individually so that they don't stick together before placing them in a freezer bag. And sliced fresh sourdough bread so we can pull out a couple pieces at a time. Hopefully we don't have to do a ton of shopping right after Baby comes. But if Baby is 2 weeks late, we may have to restock. I already pulled out the enchiladas I had made so Kevin could have lunches for the next few days. He gets really excited about leftovers. This coming from the man who bought lunch every day until we got married. At first I told him the budget would not afford it and he was excited to save money; now he gets excited to have a semi-home cooked meal for lunch every day. He gets disappointed when he has to buy lunch. He packs his lunch box and carries it with his back pack on the train and bus. It's like grade school all over again.

Last night we went to the Kaiser breast-feeding class. This class went much better that the child-birthing class where I cried all the way home. I thought the class was good and showed good techniques and gave good info, but as with everything dealing with birth, children, and parenting, it looks like we may have to figure it out as we go. Poor first born children; such guinea pigs. I have to admit, though, I fight back tears when I see these clips of mom's and dad's with their babies for the first time. Not the ones where they are acting, but the real footage. I get so choked up it's nauseating.

We have our doctor appointments weekly now. Monday went fine. I'm liking these weekly appointments because I not gaining 4, 8, or 12 pounds between visits. A pound a week I can do. I don't think I have written any info about our doctor. With Kaiser, you are typically assigned to a midwife who you see at all of your appointments. When Kevin and I first went in to Riverside, they asked if we would mind being assigned to one of the residents. Dr. Flores is in his second year of residency and we really like him. For all of our prenatal appointments he is overseen by one of the midwives or OB docs. He usually does his thing, chats with us for a bit, and then whoever is supervising comes in and does the same thing. It makes the appointments kinda long, but I feel like I'm getting a little extra special care. Additionally, Dr. Flores will be called to deliver our baby (unless something happens where he can't be there and the midwife on duty will deliver). Now I'm guessing this means that the midwife will do most of the work and he'll show up to "catch," but it doesn't bother me. Additionally, he now become my primary doc who I will see for any general appointment, as well as our pediatrician. I think it's kinda cool. He's new, so everything is still by the book, but he is 100% supervised, friendly and patient will all of Kevin's questions. Kevin has been able to go to all of the baby appointments, which has been really nice. Especially nice to entertain me while we wait for the midwife to come do the follow up.

On Monday, the doctor and midwife suggested that Kevin and I both get our DTaP booster because of the whooping cough outbreak in California. I said that was fine. I think it's been more than 10 years since I have had a tetanus shot anyway. Since being pregnant (and trying to get pregnant) I've had my blood drawn multiple times (still have the bruise from a week and a half ago) and had both my flu and H1N1 vaccines. Kevin, however, has not, and as soon as they said he should get the booster too, his palms started getting sweaty. The shot was easy; a much smaller need than the blood draw one. However, I got sick. Yesterday, Bethany and I went out in the morning, but by 11:30 I was not feeling so hot. I was achy, chilled, had an upset stomach, and was really tired (a different tired than my pregnancy tired). I kinda started to get worried until I remembered the shot yesterday. I know that it is common for babies to run a low-grade fever after shots so I dug through my purse for the paper the nurse gave me. Sure enough, my symptoms were all listed on the paper. I opened our fancy new ear thermometer we were given for Baby and tried it out. I was a little high but nothing to be concerned about. I was, however, lazy the rest of the day.

Today I made up for it. I baked date bars from scratch and even cooked the filling for the middle. Cleaned the kitchen. Bathed the boys. Vacuumed up and downstairs, and even the stairs themselves. I washed curtains. Vacuumed the couch. Cleaned window sills. Washed towels. Vacuumed the dog bed. Now, however, I am sitting with my feet up, writing this dreadfully boring post of things I will want to remember one day.

Tonight it's off to Costco to do some more stocking before Baby comes.

Hormones and Insanity

I’ve had bouts of craziness since become pregnant, but most have been rather quick and usually only toward my husband (poor guy). But last Thursday hit and I have not been able to shake it off. I wasn’t feeling well last Friday so I stayed home and was able to relax a little and feel a little better. I washed some of the baby bedding and piddled around in Baby’s room.

Then Saturday hit. Kevin and I went to our all day child birthing class. He was much more excited about it than I was. The nurse told us what to expect, showed us how to breathe, showed some diagrams and some old videos of women in labor and giving birth. I felt like crying through all of the videos. Part of it was precious of Mom’s getting to hold their newborns. The other part was plain scary! The thing about childbirth is that people can describe it all they want, but you really have no idea until it happens to you. And for whatever reason, I am more scared now than I have ever been. People share their stories (and everyone has a story) but it doesn’t mean anything until you go through it. And why is it that everyone feels the need to share their horror stories with pregnant women? By the time we left the class I felt less prepared, scared to death, and no clue of what I wanted to happen on birth day (except for Baby to miraculously appear in my arms with no pain whatsoever.) Stupid Eve.

As we left I was trying really hard to hold back tears. We got in the car and I tried to explain to Kevin what I was feeling. Instead, I became sensitive to his response feeling like he wasn’t trying to understand my feelings. I snapped at him and burst into tears. I sobbed from the 15 interchange to Central Avenue. Poor guy didn’t know what else to do but hold my hand; which made me cry more.

One of my biggest concerns is pain management. Everyone has an opinion, and will gladly share it with you. I know I don’t want to do intravenous pain management. Personally, I don’t want anything passing on to Baby. And even though the doc said they have medications to reverse the effects on Baby, I feel like I am just putting medications on top of medications. It’s just not the choice for me and our baby. I’m still not sure how I feel about the epidural. I’m not opposed to it because I have no idea what to expect. But with as crazy as I am now, I feel like if you confine me to a bed, I might go more insane. I want to have the option to stand up, even if I never take it. With as sensitive as my body is, I really don’t want to deal with a catheter and all the side effects that follow it.

For me, the most important is to keep an open mind. I keep hearing our pre-marriage counselor in my head “You don’t even know what you don’t know.” Which, of course, stresses me out a little more. My favorite analogy so far has been “It’s like a test you can’t study for so don’t even try.” Not knowing when Baby is actually coming is killing me. At this point, I’m almost ok if Baby doesn’t come until Labor Day; as long as he or she isn’t more than a week early I’ll be fine (not really, but I am trying to convince myself of such). Although I am trying to come to terms with the fact that Baby could come in September even though all this time I have had August in my head.

I have sort of come to terms with the fact that I may be this crazy for the rest of my pregnancy. When the woman in the parking lot at lunch pulled in and made it difficult for me to back out, I lost it a little yelled . . . and then started crying. Ugh. It's probably good for my office that I only have a week and a half of work left. Pray for Kevin; he has been so good and patient, but I know he misses the normality of me being just slightly insane.

Shower #2

Last month Rachel threw Baby and me a shower. We invited our family and friends from work. Rachel made beautiful invitations and everything was Bumble Bee themed.My mother-in-law made lemonade from lemons from her backyard; it might be my favorite.



We dipped pretzels for the candy bar.


For gifts for the guests, Rachel put out different themed candies for each person to make a good bag. She had candies that matched the colors; Abba Zabbas, lemon heads, dipped pretzels and marshmallows, licorice, and salt water taffy. My mom made hard candy suckers with little bees on them. Rachel also bought Bit O Honey and Atkinson candies. Who knew Atkinson had a whole line of candies?

Rachel's boss makes wonderful butter cream frosting and was kind enough to make cupcakes for the party. There were bee hives and flowers, each with a sugar bee. The were beautiful and tasty to boot!

The food was wonderful!

Rachel put together one game (games aren't usually my favorite). It's a form of the Price Is Right. She bought all kinds of things from Target and we had to guess the price. It was fun and entertaining and the best part was that I got to keep everything!

Bethany hanging out with the new teddy.

I am explaining how the Snap N Go stroller works.

Once again, I am in awe of the generosity of our friends and family. Thank you all.

Thursdays

My sister in law calls Thursdays my anniversary day. Every Thursday I add another week to my "cooking;" getting closer and closer to 40 weeks. But at week 30 I started counting down instead of up; 10 weeks to go, 9 weeks to go . . . Today I hit 35 weeks; 5 weeks to go. And while it is exciting, I panicked a little. It seems that there is so little time left. It doesn't help that I seem to hear story after story of friends that had their babies early. Today I started worrying about not being ready. I have two weeks (I hope) of work left. I really want some time off before Baby comes so that I can feel a little more settled. My nursery isn't done. I want to do some grocery shopping and even make and freeze some meals. I want to clean my bath tubs and wash some of the baby stuff. All things I am too tired (or too swollen) to do after work.

Yesterday a friend of ours had their baby. Today, a friend of my sisters had her baby. As I thought about the two girls I had a whole flood of emotions. Fear of the unknown. Excitement for the future. Unsure about birth plans. Scared. Nervous. Love. An all around wreck. I feel like I've been on the verge of tears all day. I know women do this all the time. What I am experiencing is nothing new. But it is new to me. I love this baby so much and it's a new love I have never experienced. But all of this has me trusting God even more. Through all of this, it has always been His timing, not my own. I trust that no matter what happens next, He is control. He loves His children including Kevin, me, and Baby.

Watermelon

So a few weeks ago (July 9th actually) I got a watermelon for a semi-BBQ. For those of you who don't know, a semi-BBQ is when you eat BBQ type food without actually turning on the grill. We had pulled pork sandwiches smothered in sauce, corn on the cob, and . . . watermelon. I guess it could be considered a picnic but semi-BBQ seemed appropriate. But we didn't finish, or hardly make a dent in the watermelon. So I took it home . . . and ate it.

The following week we headed to Santa Barbara for the weekend with my family and I brought another watermelon along. We had it with hot dogs and potato salad; a classic summer meal. I ate more than my fair share, and took the other half home. I cut up the other half on Monday at lunch. By Tuesday night it was gone. Kevin didn't have a single piece.

Today, I ran in the store at lunch for dog food . . . and another watermelon. This time I didn't bother with the tiny volleyball size, I grabbed the over inflated beach ball. A pretty one with a big yellow spot on it so I knew it had ripened on the vine. I understand the hilarity of the pregnant woman holding a watermelon as big as she is. I was so excited with my purchase I let the checkers comment about how big I was just bounce right off. Jonathan, my bag boy, helped me take it out to my car; I was walking so fast, anxious to get home, that he had trouble keeping up. Unfortunately, I had to pull over just outside my community because the watermelon had gotten loose and was rolling around in the van. I was not about to let my prize split in two and spill its precious juice on the floor of my car. I got home, gave the boys some food, the main reason for the stop at the store, and cut that sucker in half.

I threw some in a bowl and headed back to work.

The melon was so good and sweet and amazing. I would trade my Thrifty's ice cream cone any day for this treat. Even now, I sit thinking about what is waiting for me in the refrigerator. My craving for Cheetos in the second trimester was nothing compared to this. I can hardly contain my excitement.

Gender Neutral

Kevin and I have decided to wait until delivery to find out Baby’s gender. I don’t have a problem when others find out early with an ultra-sound; it was simply a decision for us. I threw out the idea and Kevin jumped on board.

There were many factors to our decision. It started when we didn’t get pregnant in our timing; God had other plans. We made the decision that if pregnancy wasn’t going to be a big surprise due to working with doctors and such, we wanted something to be a surprise, and Baby’s gender sounded like a good idea. We knew that God was in control and we would take whatever came our way (not that you actually get to choose a boy or girl.) When we (surprise) got pregnant on our own, we stuck with the idea of waiting to find out.

Another giant factor was my frugality. We really don’t plan for this to be our only child. We don’t know what that looks like for the future, but we thought we would set the foundation for other little ones that will come our way. So we got everything gender neutral; crib bedding, strollers, car seats, blankets, gowns, and everything in between. I know some things will need to be replaced, but I couldn’t see purchasing new items for a second child simply because the gender was different than number one. Nor could I see myself asking family or friends to buy new ones when the original was in such good condition. (Thanks friends for your generous gifts. As a side note, we have been very blessed to receive used items from family and friends and are just as excited, if not more so, with used items as new items.) The economy isn’t changing very fast, and we don’t know what the future holds for our income for next year, or subsequent years, so we thought it the responsible thing to do. We probably would have gone neutral even if we had found out the sex, but it was easier to not be swayed toward pink or blue this way. When things are questionable (usually because it would be too feminine) I ask Kevin, “Would you let your son wear/use this?”

However, I have found myself very sensitive to certain responses when people find out we are waiting. My mom teases me and calls me mean because I am preventing her from buying little outfits just yet. That one doesn’t bother me. In fact, I think my father is grateful that I have found a way to curb my mother’s spending, even if temporarily.

But if I hear another person say "I just couldn't do it, I'm too much of a planner," I might scream. (Get ready for the rant.) It’s not so much the “I couldn’t do it,” we all know you could if you wanted to. It’s more of the indication that I am not a planner. You think I'm not planning? Have you met me? You think I am not crazy about preparing for a neutral nursery and snatch up all the neutral clothes I can find? You think I haven't lined up people to let me borrow clothes depending on the gender? Just because my entire nursery isn’t pink doesn’t mean I’m not a planner. I’ve planned to share baby stuff with anyone who wants to. I’m all about thrift stores, garage sales, and friends that are done having kids. There is nothing wrong with finding out the gender, just don't think I'm not a planner! I know it isn’t what people really mean, and pregnant women are overly sensitive, but I don’t think people sometimes think about what they are going to say. I received a wonderful response from a friend today. She said “I think it would be so hard to wait, but it sure makes labor day exciting.” How sweet, thank you friend.

I know all (at least most) women are excited for delivery, but I feel that we have been able to add something special to ours. I look forward to the day when Kevin gets to exclaim “It’s a . . .”

Shower #1

Bethany threw Baby and me a beautiful brunch last month. She made blueberry french toast, mini egg souffles, and an elaborate fruit spread. Friends and their little ones came out to help me prepare for our little addition. There were 6 little ones in all! Our friends were so generous with their gifts and we are so blessed by them. We received many books to start our family library of children's books. My family always read books growing up, and I am excited to read to our little one.

Here are a few pictures from the day. Sorry they are all of me; I didn't take any pictures of my own.

Toni holding Riley and part of the beautiful food table.

I am reading a book from Katie to the girls.