The Best Advice

I was reading Argyle and Apricots yesterday and was truly laughing out loud all by myself. Lori is an excellent writer and hysterical on top of it. She recently wrote a piece entitled "The Best Advice That I Ever Received: Wear A Bra." It got me thinking about the advice new mom's receive. Everyone has an opinion and us women love to share them them. But the two pieces that I have been very thankful for were given to me long before I was pregnant.

The first one came nonchalant. We were at dinner with our friends. They had brought their youngest who was around 5 months old. We had finished eating and Katie asked if we would be uncomfortable if she nursed him. We, of course, said we were fine. She went on to tell us that without meaning too, she didn't introduce Baby #2 to a bottle until too late in which he then refused. Her first son was bottle fed and Katie and Tim both got to take part in feeding their son. But she breastfed #2 and was stuck. She told me that she felt as though she had prevented her husband from being able to bond with #2 like he had been able to do with #1. And, it was harder to leave him knowing he would eat from a bottle. So when Lily was born, we introduced a bottle at around 5 or 6 weeks. Kevin would come home and give her an evening bottle allow her to get used to him, and he to her. We tried a couple of bottles and found one she liked only to switch again right before Christmas. Knowing that I could leave on Thursday evenings for my women's small group and see that Kevin and Lily were both comfortable with each other gave me such peace of mind. After the second week, I didn't even think about them until I was leaving to head back home. This of course was after Kevin realized she cries when she wants to go to sleep; "Why is she only happy for an hour and then starts yelling at me?"

The second piece was given before I was even dating Kevin but goes hand in hand with the first. Debbie and I were heading to a conference at the Master's College in Santa Clarita. We were talking about babies and raising children and she said to me "Let your husband hold the baby." At first I thought this was a little odd. Why wouldn't I let my husband hold the baby? But she went on to say that she, at times, was so wrapped up in caring for the child she never passed her son along so that her husband could bond and love on her son. Part of this came naturally. Kevin is a great dad and many times I have to tell him he cannot wake her up. But there are times when she is happy or we are out where I would prefer to hold her but I make sure to pass her along to Kevin.

I know that because I am breastfeeding, Kevin sometimes feels at a loss for how he can help. I often give him the diaper or change of clothes just so he has that much more interaction with her. He is often gone for work before she gets up and then home for about an hour before she goes back down. Which is why he is so excited to feed her the cereal in the evening. It's their time together. This also makes our weekends so much more precious. We may still be busy doing things, but we do them together.

I'm sure I have gleaned much more advice, but those are the first two I thought of in this new stage of motherhood. I am blessed to have a husband to partner with.