Why I Love My Husband: Reason 286

This summer and fall, Kevin and I have taken on new leadership roles in our church. For the first time in our marriage, we are doing ministry separately. It's been a challenge, mostly because of time commitments and while they don't overlap, it means we are apart different nights of the week. Both of us have recently "fallen" into our new roles. Kevin was approached to head up the parking team when Sandals Church moved to our temporary location at the Seventh Day Adventist Church. We knew this was a small step toward what was to come when we moved to our permanent location at Palmyrita Avenue. Through this small responsibility (which took a lot of prep work) Kevin has become one of the Men's Ministry Event Coordinators. (I'm not sure if that is the official title, but it describes what he does for the men's groups.) A few weeks ago during one of Kevin's Monday night meetings, one of the leaders brought in a panel of godly women to share about their marriage, and how their husbands were the spiritual leaders of their household.

Here are some of the questions they were asked.

1. Tell us how hour husband puts Christ first and at the center of your marriage.



2. Tell us how your husband makes you feel safe and secure in your marriage.



3. What are some of the practical things that your husband does that makes you know in your heart that you are the most important person in his life?



4. Tell us how your husband handles trials and adversity.



5. How has your husbands Faith led you to explore your Faith?



6. Tell us two of the most important things that your husband does the makes your marriage what it is today.



7. Tell us about your husbands spiritual disciplines and routines.

After listening to women share the positives and negatives about their husbands, Kevin asked me to answer the questions about him. Then he asked that I share the answers with him on our road trip to Sacramento. Talk about uncomfortable. When was the last time your husband asked you to be completely honest about how he was as a husband, father, and spiritual leader? He wanted to know where he is succeeding, and where he was falling short. I was completely honest. It was hard. I was able to be encouraging but was honest with where I struggle and where I would like to see changes. It was a great time of honesty and vulnerability, on both our parts. But as a warning, do not ask questions that you aren't prepared to hear the answer to or become defensive. I think Kevin was brave to ask these questions of his wife and sit patiently to hear her answers.

One thing I would like to share with you is where I have seen the most growth in Kevin. Kevin is a wonderful husband and a great father. But as I mentioned earlier, Kevin has taken on a new role at church. One of the things Kevin has taken on naturally, without being asked, is what he and I have dubbed "a connector of people." Kevin has met more guys at our church in the past 6 months than he has in the 4 years of our marriage. He is a listener. He hears the interests of people, their hurts and pains, their joys, their excitements, and what makes them unique. Then he begins introducing people to one another. When a guy shared with Kevin about his special needs daughter, he introduced him to another father in our church with a special needs son. He introduces people to each other who are in the same line of work. When someone is looking to get involved at church, he ropes them into his parking team. I have never seen Kevin more excited about what he does at church as when he saw pictures of his parking team hanging out together outside of Sunday mornings. I'm not sure what the official name of Kevin's gift would be, but he finds joy in helping other people find their connection to Sandals church. People are drawn to Kevin. If you ever meet him, you will immediately be labeled a friend; what he calls, a buddy. Kevin loves to ask questions; something his friends (and I) have often teased him about. But the questions are genuine, and he remembers the answers. I am very proud of Kevin's willingness to be used. I'm proud to be his wife.