Go Lions!

I'm new to sports. (Well, technically, three years in.) We didn't grow up watching sports. I remember my father having a World Series game on in back in the early 90's at our little house on X Street, but I don't think anyone actually watched the game. When I was in high school my little brother was really into skateboarding, and we would watch the X Games on Sunday afternoon. I was in awe of what those guys could do on a skate board, snow board, or bicycle. I was having dinner with my father and sister last week and we were joking a little about my husband and his love for sports. My father just smiled a little, shook his head, and said "Sorry you were raised around sports." It never bothered me. My poor husband though. He jokes about always assuming he would marry a fellow athlete. I am about as opposite of an athlete as they come by. I swam one season in high school where the coach taught me how to swim; nose plug and all. Starting to get the picture?

It's football time again and we are back to hanging out with friends every Sunday to watch every game on TV. The first year I just ate and napped while the boys yelled at the TV. Last year I was able to pay attention more and actually follow the games and the season a little closer. I watched last year as the Patriots lost their superstar in the first game. I watched as Aaron Rogers finally had his chance to shine (more like twinkle) as Favre retired, and then came back, again, to play for the Jets. And I watched the Lions lose every game for an 0-16 season. How devastating! Given my non-athletic history, I really want to see the underdog succeed. So I told Kevin that I was going to be a Lions fan for 2009. I talked to my friend Stacy over the summer and she agreed we need to root for Detroit. So Stacy's husband ordered us personalized jersey's this year.

Our Jersey's made their debut yesterday with great success. The Lions beat the Redskins 19-14. Their first win since December 23, 2007. I'll be the first to admit that the team is not great. They lost to New Orleans (a really good team) 45-27 in week one. A lot of the players are new and young; Matt Stafford is the same age as my brother! Hopefully this win gives them the confidence they need for the rest of the season. The jersey was a great gift and makes football Sunday that much more fun.

Frozen Ants

I have ants in my outside freezer. By the look of the carcass pile, they have been there a while. Gross.

Here Comes Goodbye

I miss Guin today. It happens at odd times. There was nothing that I can recall to bring on the grief except that I am always an emotional mess. I sent a text to Bethany, she can always relate. We often miss Guin at the same time. It's kinda weird.

I also sent my dad a text. My dad lost his sister Marsha 28 years ago last month. Idiot drunk driver ran a red light. They were coming home from Vacation Bible School. It's my dad that told me grief doesn't get better, it just gets different. I have held on to that as my own. It helps me.

Dad text back that he was listening to "Here Comes Goodbye" by Rascal Flatts. It was odd timing of my text. But it was comforting for some reason.

So when I got to my computer, I looked up the lyrics.

I can hear the truck tires coming up the gravel road
And it's not like her to drive that slow, nothing's on the radio
Footsteps on the front porch, I hear my doorbell
She usually comes right in, now I can tell

Here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry

Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight
But here comes goodbye

I can hear her say "I love you" like it was yesterday
And I can see it written on her face that she had never felt this way
One day I thought I'd see her with her daddy by her side
And violins would play Here Comes The Bride

But here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry

Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight
But here comes goodbye

Why's it have to go from good to gone?
Before the lights turn on
Yeah, and you're left alone
Oh! But here comes goodbye! Oh!

Here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry

Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight
But here comes goodbye, ooh

The lyrics are, in a way, up to interpretation. It could be a breakup song. But ultimately the song is about losing someone close to you.

Then I went to watch the video. I lost it. It appears to be a man and child in the afterlife and a girl and her mother struggling with the loss and grief that we all experience in this world. This mother wanted to protect her child from the grief and remember how she could hold her as a child.

Many thoughts run through my head. Guin. Her daughter Emma. Gareth. Guins family. Marsha. My cousins Christy and Julie. My Uncle Rick. My grandma. My grandpa. My father.

This post only took me six tissues.

Grief sucks.

Not better. Different.

Puppies and Babies

Rachel and Brendan came over to hang out. It was hot outside so we let my boys come in too. Unfortunately, whenever you sit on the ground, the boys think you want to cuddle. So when Charlie saw Rachel sitting on the ground, he had a seat on Rachel's lap. The funny thing is Rachel didn't see it coming and the 75 pound puppy plopped down on top of her.

The boys do really well with Brendan. I thanked Rachel for letting him be out test baby with our dogs. But we have loved making sure the boys were surrounded by babies while they were little.

It's a phone camera so it is a little blurry, and Brendan is quite fast, but he likes the puppies.

My Bud

My brother was born Jeffery Thomas Reed, Jr. Everyone called J.Thomas as a kid. I always called him Bud. I'm not sure if it started as Buddy, but he was always Bud to me. I miss him. When I moved out Bud was starting seventh grade. It took a long time for me to think of him as older than a 12 year old. But Bud soon passed me up in height and was stronger than my within the year I left. He is probably the exact opposite of me. School was never his thing but he was well liked with lots of friends. Definitely more athletic than the rest of us. He skateboarded for a while and played polo in high school. He picked up a pair of drum sticks in junior high and hasn't really put them down. He used to carry them in his back pocket. I'm not sure if he still does . . . I don't make to Sacramento except on holidays. And with Bud working for FedEx his schedule isn't really flexible.

Bud does summer fire crew with the Davis Fire Crew. The go out for a couple of weeks, sleep in the dirt, dig trenches, and cut down trees. They come back with beards and stink like none other. But he loves it.

The other night I got to talk to Bud a little on facebook. It was nice. We talked about the band. A little about girls. A little about work. I miss him.

I found a couple of recent pictures on his facebook page to share with you.